Yeah, I am pointedly ignoring you. I am refusing to recognize that you want to give me your sympathy on my father’s death. Nothing you offer is wanted here. Go jump in a lake of acid. You molested my son, betrayed my trust, lied about it and were caught exposing yourself to little kids on the beach. You make me sick and anything you offer would be greeted like a cobra dipped in poison. Walk the f^ck away and when you see me again turn around and run.

I don’t have to put up with you. I asked you to not call me while my Mother was dying of cancer so I could leave my line open for the nurses. You ignored my request and treated calling me like a joke even going so far as to mask you number so I had to pick up the phone thinking it was a nurse. I don’t care if we go to the same recovery center. Being civil is a privilege not a right. And you’re lucky I don’t punch you in your grinning face. So take your solicitude and stick where the sun don’t shine; it’s lost on me.

My whole life while all the sh!t was going on; bullying, molestation, abuse. I used to be so pathetic. I don’t fault myself for it. I was wrapped up in h3ll. And anyone who was suppose to help me out of those problems and issues would just repeat “Deal with it.” “Suck it up” “You’re imagining things” and all that cr@p. And some of them were the very people abusing or bullying me. I don’t fault myself for hating humans. I saw the obscene and was treated like I was lying when I asked about it. So when I see people trained in the art of underhanded social interactions I cut them off. There is nothing new under the sun when it comes to scum like that. And I don’t wait for people to change. People will take advantage of weaknesses when the see one. The truly decent people will see a weakness and put it aside. Being immoral isn’t a weakness. It’s a choice. Those kinds of people can suck my @ss.

The saying “If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it,” is one to live by. They should create a new one for scumbags. Something along the lines of: The sun don’t shine on a scumbag’s motives, or some such saying.

And I take issue with people who glibly give me advice during this time of grief. You know what? “Time heals all wounds” means nothing to me while  walk around empty inside wondering if offing myself will help delete the pain. So you got through a tough time in your life. That’s nice. I don’t care. It’s NOT the same thing, you are NOT me and hearing crap that doesn’t apply to the here and now is insulting to me. I know you’re trying to be nice. How about being empathic and instead of offering me shallow sayings you shut up and offer me your company. Keep it simple stupid. How’s that for a saying?

All you selfish soul sucking exploiters willing to screw another human out of a dime or top them with your vast knowledge of life or eager to take the innocence from a child, take a comet to Uranus and drown yourself in the blood of purity. Do the rest of humans on this earth the favor of not having to deal with souls rotted to the core. It’s hard enough to communicate with the ones we love.

Oh, by the way I hate people who say “Ruh Row” like Scooby Doo. You sound like an @ss and you are not endearing to me.

On a personal note: today I betrayed my own instincts out of curiosity. I gave D a ride up to Kingstown after OASIS. I was curious to see how much he would ask me and how much I would say no. He got the ride. But as he was muttering that his friend wouldn’t be there he told me to park in the drive way so he could see. I told him I’d drop him off but that was it. So he renegotiated. He’d have me pull into the drive way and look and not get out of the car. If the friend wasn’t there I could drive him into town to look for him (meaning I would drive him around while he looked.) So I asked him where in town would I drop him off. He got flustered and said he’d need to find his friend. I said yeah that was a problem, where was I dropping him off. I already gave you your ride D. So he told me Main Street. Then as we’re driving there he gives me the hard luck story (different from the one that he told me on the way to his friend’s house which I really didn’t listen to,) of how he had no money and he’d need to borrow $2 from his friend. Then he rambles on again about looking for his friend. Then he asks me if I have any money. Nope I have none. More of him talking and bullshit about him beating up some “black guys” and getting thrown out of Dutch Inn and losing his cell phone. And then we arrived there. I dropped him off in a parking lot. Bye D. I was pretty happy with the results. A bit of wasted gas, some hot air blown in my ear but I didn’t back down. Good for me.

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