Missing Persons – Words
I have had a certain amount of people who give me glib guidance in situations that call for less talking or more seriously thought out responses. When do people realize that the shallow advice that rolls off their tongues isn’t comforting and leaves the taste of insult in the other persons throat? I write this not because I’m sounding off but in the hopes that each person who reads this pays attention to some of the cr@p that comes out from between their lips and how those worthless words can really mess with people.
I know it’s asking for too much that anybody examine what they say. People are so in love with themselves and so coddled that their sense of empathy is retarded yet they believe they know what empathy’s while confusing it with sympathy. I took an online course in how to really listen to people. And the simple answer was to shut up, stop trying to plan what to interject when the next conversation gap came up and concentrate on what the other person was saying. Don’t try to give your opinion. Don’t tell them what you thick they should hear. Just shut up and listen. It is so basic and yet I dare you to try for ONE conversation to do just that.
I had a good conversation. not one of the total listen ones I just challenged you to here. I was at a church yard sale (yeah, imagine me at one of those,) and the person I was sitting next to was there doing what I was doing: trying to sell art work by the MI people where we have a recovery center. I had a few pieces in the bin. I don’t consider any of my “art work” to truly be art except for the screaming skull I drew at the mental hospital because the other things are mainly my copying (not tracing mind you,) certain native totem animals of the Tlingit persuasion. Their not my designs but they are not accurate either.
We had time to talk. This endeavor was only thought up a few weeks ago and so it wasn’t planned out well. No one, uh correction: 2 people even bothered to look at the milk crate of pictures done by the people who come to OASIS. No one looked at the art work on the walls. And the woman who decided to do it was in the hospital now anyway.
She and I started talking about family and other mundane stuff. Still it was about our respective siblings and parents and because many people have serious dysfunction in their families even unto adulthood the details can be interesting. We compared and consulted and disagreed but came back to the main poit which was even though we came from the same stock some people in our families acted like they were never raised by the hunmans who bore them.
We then started to talk about symptoms. She has this concept and I forget her term but it’s like she dissociates and these personalities take control of her body. This is not the first time I’ve heard of this concept. I’ve read of it in When Rabbit Howls and Sybil: The Classic True Story of a Woman Possessed by Sixteen Personalities. I suspect that I may have something similar only because there are holes in my life and memory. I’ve discovered that contrary to popular belief the symptoms that people with Mental Illnesses have are more varied than most people think or can understand. And like listening, that sounds obvious but it isn’t. It is one of the many reasons why there is such a strong and angry stigma attached to mental illness. I have my own version of MI stigma. I am very adamant about not being called Major Depressive. I am Bipolar II. I have hypomanias, they may be smaller than manias but I am not solely a depressive. I also hate that people are so ignorant that they use depression and all it’s forms in common ways thereby sullying it’s meaning. It’s meaning has become so watered down as to mean sad. That’s like saying nice. It means nothing and anyone can say it and claim it. Real depression is horrifying, mind wrenching and debilitating. In fact if you use it in such a way that doesn’t refer to it’s clinical meaning STOP IT, you imbecile. You don’t sound like you are suffering in H3LL you sound like a common whiney teenagerAnd that brings me back to how people have become. Inflated egos but empty vocabularies, absent etiquette, puffed up self esteems with nothing behind the walls of Abercrombie & Fitch.
Listen. It makes you look intelligent even if you’re a dolt. If your mouth is not running BS can not fall out of it. You offend no one least of all yourself.