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I don’t get that as a common issue that Bipolar sufferers have: obsessing and rehashing negative events, thoughts, whatever it seems that we’re suppose to somehow exorcise these things away. It’s something I’ve been doing for a very long time. You spend time with people, anybody really even other people with bipolar disorder you get to know that the obsessive behavior irritates and annoys. Here’s the thing, it never stops. You can conceal it, you can try to misdirect it but it never goes away.

I’m tired of writing. I feel like everything I write is the same.

I’m agitated today, can you tell? I had a big fight with my son over using my car. He uses it for work, it’s a hybrid and saves money on gas. He has to cross the state to get to work. Okay, I can dig that. This weekend though he’s not going to give me he keys back to my car. JUST IN CASE HE NEEDS TO GO TO WORK AND I DON”T COME HOME. Yeah. I have no clue what his reasoning really was. It’s a line of cr@p that I didn’t buy. So we fight. He calls me crazy (and this is after telling me he thought I was going to sleep over my SIL’s house. I haven’t slept over anyone’s house since last year. I just got tired of the jockey we both did and said, “How about you don’t use the car at all.” So he brings out the “I’m going to leave and abandon you,” card. I told him I hope he does. If he was a roommate I’d dump him and move out myself. Maybe he’ll grow the f^ck up.

So I have to prepare myself to deal with the house’s maintenance. It might be worth it all to not have to pick up his clothes, clean the rooms and not spend so much on food. The ironic thing is that he doesn’t realize that he’ll get some very good life lessons that will help him not be such a schmuck.