Ministry – Jesus Built My Hotrod 

The brain says, “GO!” Caught in this body. No talent to express myself. I could fly at more than 100 mph and relieve myself.

The anger the panic and the anxiety could burn the thoughts that gnaw into my brain. I have no motivation like I used to. Was it used up running from that sociopath? The anger never left neither did the fear, panic, and anxiety. They all lie about that “heal thyself” crap. I’ve been working it but I still have those urges. The ones I can’t tell anyone about, I can’t write about, I can’t confess to. I’m convinced that this world is actually a series of decisions that link to each other in a vast mental prison. And all those people that give you trite phrases that are suppose to help you are actually demons meant to confuse you with bullsh!t. We serve as each others torturers because we’re blind but think we know because we’re “educated”. That’s why when we shut up, don’t give an opinion and actually listen to someone they feel like we “really know them”. We don’t we just didn’t torture them. Unfortunately we feel compelled to give them our “enlightened” POV about their issue.

I know because I DO IT TOO. And it’s worse torture to be aware of it all. That’s why stupid people are happier. People who are oblivious don’t worry and cover up their anger and their perception. They wander around, good consumers, happy chipmunks, empty heads busy with the little things. And that’s why I can’t maintain. How do you spray the mold when you are crouched over the edge of time looking down into the crotch of the species?

I hate you K because I know you. Like you I think everything I believe is THE RIGHT THING TO DO all the time. How obnoxious. And to see you practice that philosophy goes right up my ying yang like a worm in a hole. No wonder I aggrevate you to. You just haven’t figured out why yet. And when you do…